September 2011

Special Guest Horoscopes: Tyrion Lannister

The stars don't need trained professionals to read them. Fate has been moving since before humans appeared in this world and it will work its wonders after we've gone. That's why we like to invite new people to our humble blog to read the weekly horoscopes from a fresh perspective.

Tyrion Lannister is one of the central characters in George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire novels. He's an exceedingly intelligent dwarf with mismatched eyes and a tendency to get himself into trouble just as quickly as he gets out of it. He stopped by the Zen Ramblings office in the five days between instances of people trying to kill him for crimes both real and imagined. While he hid in our stock room, he insisted on paying for his room and board by interpreting this week's horoscopes for us.

Special Guest Horoscopes: Les Ni-Huang, Professional Gamer

The stars don't need trained professionals to read them. Fate has been moving since before humans appeared in this world and it will work its wonders after we've gone. That's why we like to invite new people to our humble blog to read the weekly horoscopes from a fresh perspective.

Lester Ni-Huang is a Korean-born, American-raised computer programming consultant and professional video game player. He has participated in several championship-winning Starcraft teams in his native South Korea, found notoriety in last year's Southern California Mario Party Tournament and currently earns a second income leveling World of Warcraft characters for people who are too busy to level themselves and too insecure to play a low-level character. Les brought his intelligence and ambition to today's horoscopes.

L'il Philosophers: Soren Kierkegaard, Age 6

If the tooth is "free" from my mouth, all is well. I can accept this. But if the tooth requires extraction, then I must ask: By what means? In what way? Dental procedures must be conducted dentally, which is to say, by a dentist. It must come as a result of leaving school in the middle of the day to visit the dentist's office to undergo a procedure, bloody or bloodless. This I cannot abide. Those who would extract my tooth by artificial means, which is to say the means of the world, and not by nature are those who are tolerant of dentists, which is to say indifferent to my plight as the bearer of the tooth. Ah, yes, the concept of dentistry in itself is a good and proper thing, but my life as a patient of dentistry, it is indeed wretched.

Night Driving On Mars: Harron

There are three things on Phobos. There is an elevator (of sorts) that connects to the Mars return rocket. I say "of sorts" because it's not really about elevating anything. It's more of a loose tube that whips out from the moon and carries a small car to the rocket in orbit. Then there's a warehouse and dormitory that prepares supply drops to the planet. See, it's not cost-effective to bring a whole rocket down to the surface because it'll have to expend so much fuel just to lift off again. So, all supply runs connect to Phobos where the goods are loaded into re-entry cases that get gravity-launched to drop sites. It uses almost no fuel, the cases are re-usable and they're light enough to load up hundreds in the one quarterly rocket to Phobos that takes warehouse crews to and from their shifts. And then there's Radio Orbit, a narrow broadcast tower on a hill.