April 2010

Naked Stoic Lesbian Delivery Service: Chapter Seven

Chapters

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5       6

 

Kids these days will never get to experience the mind-altering power of a jungle gym. There's something special about climbing up a dome of raw metal then slipping inside to watch a bunch of silhouettes against the sun crawling all around you. They've taken them all off the playgrounds now because too many kids got banged up on them. I'm not a parent so I probably don't understand, but the way I see it kids get banged up. It's just part of the territory. We all get two sets of teeth so we can screw up with the first one. What's it matter if a practice pearly gets knocked out? Anyway, it occurred to me as I woke up some hours or maybe days after the Fort Knox job that a kid who never played on a jungle gym wouldn't have anything to compare the feeling to, were he to wake up where and how I did.

Special Guest Horoscopes: Homeless Dave

The stars don't need trained professionals to read them. Fate has been moving since before humans appeared in this world and it will work its wonders after we've gone. That's why we like to invite new people to our humble blog to read the weekly horoscopes from a fresh perspective. This week, we asked "Duffel Bag Dave", a citizen of the world but most recently of a bush not far from Safeco Field, to grant us his insight into what the paths of the zodiac have to offer this week.

Naked Stoic Lesbian Delivery Service: Chapter Six

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5

 

Some things you grow up hearing about but you never really feel like they're real. The surface of another planet, the center of a volcano, the bottom of the ocean. Fort Knox. And just like the first guy who walks on Mars is gonna think to himself, "Just looks like Texas" I didn't think much of that government building in Kentucky when I saw it. Truth is, it looked more like the prison to me than anything. Link and I lay on our bellies behind this hill near the wall while his pet stoic climbed up to a ledge. It was around dusk. I had some of its hair in my teeth from when we shaved its head. Link didn't tell me why, just that it was important. Come nightfall, we'd be on our way in.

Naked Stoic Lesbian Delivery Service: Chapter Five

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Link clutched his rifle like it was the only thing that put air in his lungs. Bits of plaster were crumbling off the wall with each cluster of buckshot that slammed into the other side. Old Man Gibson never killed a soul far as anyone knew, but damned if he didn't love to scare folks.

"Sonny! I'm kicking the cannon your way! Get out from behind that safe and kill this sumnabitch like he was a daddy that smacked you!"

The Glock slid next to me and the stoic as we took cover with the big-ass safe in the room. That should give you an idea of how scared I was. I had a choice between being out in the open or cuddling up next to a wild one and I chose the latter. I don't know if the blonde being Link's pet made it more or less of a threat. Anyway, it hadn't done anything to me yet, so I took my chances.

Naked Stoic Lesbian Delivery Service: Chapter Four

Chapters

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3

 

Link locked me in the bathroom for a few hours that night. A good thing, too, on account of the high likelihood I'd have pissed myself if he'd kept me in that room with the stoic doing whatever it was they were doing. I couldn't hear much of what was going on, just Link whispering something to the stoic he'd been messing with and every once in a while some crackle like some live wires were exposed. I guess it was about midnight when he let me out. There was just one of the three wild ones left in the room. Link had taken the two from the mission to storage and fed the one he'd been keeping some creme brulee from the restaurant down the street. It was curled up under the night stand with a bunch of weird doodads I'd never seen before.

Naked Stoic Lesbian Delivery Service: Chapter Three

Chapter One

Chapter Two

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit". That's what really goes through your head when you've screwed the pooch proper. Nobody, and I mean nobody is so cool that they don't at least think in a string of swears when the bad stuff goes down. I don't care if you're some born bad sumnabitch with a nasty scar across your eye, you screw up something big and you're a panicky teenage girl on the inside. That's why I'm not ashamed to admit I had something of a minor tizzy when I dropped the November shipment down the cellar steps that one time. Sure, the way they landed was kinda sexy, but there was a mighty good chance at least one of them would walk funny ever after, if their necks didn't just snap on the way down. Stoics are intense creatures, but don't let that fool you into thinking they aren't fragile like you and me. They are. They're soft, sensitive. They have feelings, even if they keep them hid.