March 2010

Naked Stoic Lesbian Delivery Service: Chapter Two

Read Chapter 1

My pop always told me it's best to try even when you're sure it ain't gonna work out. That's how I got the gig working the delivery circuit; I just kept bugging Link, the fella in the blue pants. I reckoned he was a real professional. I've seen plenty of hobby hunters in my day and he didn't strike me as one of them. See, weekend pleasure killers are more often than not just frustrated folk waking up before the crack just to stroke their woodies for armaments. They clean their rifles three times before Sunday and won't shut up about balance and range and stupid stuff like that. My cousin Jimmy, he's a groundskeeper at some golf course in North Carolina, shoots gophers with some piece of shit .22 when the club starts complaining. He couldn't give a dog's pecker about the make of his weapon, just that it does the job. And Link, he treated that rifle of his the same way. It was beat to hell and hadn't seen love or a display case since the background check went through. It put the quarries to sleep and that's all that mattered.

Naked Stoic Lesbian Delivery Service: Chapter One

You see them in more places than your mind lets you consciously register. They entice you to buy expensive perfume in magazines with scented inserts. They appear in between your favorite TV shows to make brand name bodywash seem sexy and to act like one bite of chocolate is better than the hottest, most lurid night of your life. You probably don't even notice, but that car dealership down the road's got one on retainer to push the latest luxury sedan. Those aren't models. They're not actresses or even cute interns from the accounts receivable department. They're one of the rarest, most dangerous creatures on the planet. They are naked stoic lesbians, amorquendam patesco, and it's my job to brave the wild in search of them.

Mandatory Ethanol Endurance Test at Zecron Sector Orbital Labs

***BEGIN TRANSMISSION***

We are sorry to interrupt your designated inter-gender biological recreation session, Employee Residents #6850-D and #7157-J. You are both encouraged to turn your attention to this important message from Core Control and then return to your current activities with the aid of the complementary DNA retention barrier we have provided in Employee Resident #6850-D's solid mail basin. This is an official announcement concerning Zecron Sector Orbital Lab's participation in the Federation of Alpha Centauri Satellites and Fusion Stations upcoming Ethanol Endurance Test experiments.