Chapters

1       2

3       4

5       6

7

original photo by GW BurnsWe were on Link's trail for months, but no matter how close it felt like we were getting everything went cold eventually. I was missing something. The pet spent most afternoons sleeping in the back of the car, coming alive at night when the scent of its kind stuck in the air like pricey perfume and burning leaves. I never did find out what happened to the car's owner. Maybe he ran off or maybe something worse, something stranger happened before I could get down the hill in Kentucky. I was afraid of getting picked up when the missing person report registered, so I ditched the ride in West Virginia and got my hands on a U-Haul. The pet had the run of the trailer. I still don't know what it did back there, only that every time I lifted the gate I got hit with the momentary scent of sandalwood.

Read more >

The stars don't need trained professionals to read them. Fate has been moving since before humans appeared in this world and it will work its wonders after we've gone. That's why we like to invite new people to our humble blog to read the weekly horoscopes from a fresh perspective.

This week, the myriad wonders of astrology will be conveyed to us with the help of Gunther Bloodsabbath, the lead singer of platinum-selling death metal band Shrieking Cadaver. Mr. Bloodsabbath took time out of his busy touring schedule to impart his wisdom unto us children of the stars.

Read more >

Chapters

1       2

3       4

5       6

original photo by Jean Jacques AndreKids these days will never get to experience the mind-altering power of a jungle gym. There's something special about climbing up a dome of raw metal then slipping inside to watch a bunch of silhouettes against the sun crawling all around you. They've taken them all off the playgrounds now because too many kids got banged up on them. I'm not a parent so I probably don't understand, but the way I see it kids get banged up. It's just part of the territory. We all get two sets of teeth so we can screw up with the first one. What's it matter if a practice pearly gets knocked out? Anyway, it occurred to me as I woke up some hours or maybe days after the Fort Knox job that a kid who never played on a jungle gym wouldn't have anything to compare the feeling to, were he to wake up where and how I did.

Read more >

wine, cheese and good sex

are better than bombs and guns

vive la France, toujours

it's not about cake

or free booze for your family

tie the knot in peace

smile for the cameras

try to sound smart for the press

don't sweat in public

The stars don't need trained professionals to read them. Fate has been moving since before humans appeared in this world and it will work its wonders after we've gone. That's why we like to invite new people to our humble blog to read the weekly horoscopes from a fresh perspective. This week, we asked "Duffel Bag Dave", a citizen of the world but most recently of a bush not far from Safeco Field, to grant us his insight into what the paths of the zodiac have to offer this week.

Read more >

Chapters

1       2

3       4

5

original photo by Derick WestSome things you grow up hearing about but you never really feel like they're real. The surface of another planet, the center of a volcano, the bottom of the ocean. Fort Knox. And just like the first guy who walks on Mars is gonna think to himself, "Just looks like Texas" I didn't think much of that government building in Kentucky when I saw it. Truth is, it looked more like the prison to me than anything. Link and I lay on our bellies behind this hill near the wall while his pet stoic climbed up to a ledge. It was around dusk. I had some of its hair in my teeth from when we shaved its head. Link didn't tell me why, just that it was important. Come nightfall, we'd be on our way in.

Read more >

inbox full of junk

filter out of date again

advertisements suck

five lines are never enough

to tell my story

so sometimes I use seven