Chapters

1

Lt. Arthur Cole of the United Nations North American Operations Unit only agreed to converse with me if I didn't interrupt his work. A former officer of the US Army, Lt. Cole is now the chief archivist at the Embassy City Museum of United States History. As he speaks, he is busy placing various historical documents into sealed glass frames.

 

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The stars don't need trained professionals to read them. Fate has been moving since before humans appeared in this world and it will work its wonders after we've gone. That's why we like to invite new people to our humble blog to read the weekly horoscopes from a fresh perspective.

Though this column is dedicated to allowing those who don't usually interpret the stars to enlighten us with their non-traditional take on the weekly charts, we don't want to be mistaken for folks who let someone write the horoscopes willy-nilly. It takes a fair amount of experience to interpret the ebb and flow of countless fates. In that regard, perhaps no one in the world is more qualified to read the stars than Captain Adventure, star of over a dozen video games since the mid 1980's. It is estimated that the good Captain has accrued some 180 million experience points in the past twenty five years. Here's what he has to say about the daily trials of all the non-super heroes out there.

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the sun hides today

so the plants can drink and thrive

gray revives the green

is crude in the gulf

a good enough reason now

to kick the habit?

someone once proclaimed

"I will fry bread and glaze it"

and naysayers wept

image created by Andy WardI can't personally recall any significant details of the dissolve of the former United States. After all, I was only five when it happened and it's not as if what was happening on what my uncle Tim often called "the wrong side" of the Atlantic had much bearing on the day to day activities of people living in Sevenoaks, Kent. There were reports on television and talk among the adults, but what small child ever pays attention to the news? The first real impact the so-called "transition" had on my life was that it left my kindergarten teacher scrambling when we were learning our globe. Yes, this here on the map is where England floats and just across the channel there's Europe with its France and its Spain and its Germany. And then she'd hesitate, banking hard east where the confusing mess of southeast Asia would rescue her from having to explain the complex geopolitics of a situation that, frankly, nobody quite understood yet.

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The stars don't need trained professionals to read them. Fate has been moving since before humans appeared in this world and it will work its wonders after we've gone. That's why we like to invite new people to our humble blog to read the weekly horoscopes from a fresh perspective.

We came across this week's special guest reader while strolling down the street in Bremerton, Washington. A scrappy mutt sat on a flattened cardboard box with a jar in front of him that said "tips". One of the Zen Ramblings Zodiac Squad asked the dog, "Where's your master, little guy?" to which the mutt responded, "You're looking at him." He refused to speak again until we tipped him. Two dollars and some loose change later, the dog introduced himself as Wags and began regaling us with his life story. The details will have to wait for another day, but we decided that Wags would be able to bring a particularly unique point of view to the horoscopes. A twenty dollar tip provided us with the following gems of wisdom.

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such a simple thing

once as valuable as gold

now is too common

sifting through the racks

the perfect color and fit

my elusive prey

brain-eating monsters?

nothing a shotgun can't fix

at least in movies