Seattle goes grunge

hip hop explodes in L.A.

raves shake warehouses

new wave and post-punk

synthesizers and makeup

hair metal ballads

white bell bottom pants

gold chains and disco dancing

the loud birth of punk

The stars don't need trained professionals to read them. Fate has been moving since before humans appeared in this world and it will work its wonders after we've gone. That's why we like to invite new people to our humble blog to read the weekly horoscopes from a fresh perspective.

When we received a call at the Zen Ramblings Zodiac Squad office from Bert Nieman, a powerful Hollywood agent, we didn't know quite what to make of it. He told us that his top-earning client, movie superstar Johnny Sobriesque, was in the middle of doing research for his next role as a wise-cracking psychic named Bobby Bizarro in a film of the same name. Mr. Sobriesque decided it would be good practice to learn various kinds of divination methods, including tarot, palm reading and, of course, the art of the horoscope. We decided to give Johnny a shot in exchange for free tickets to the Bobby Bizarro premiere, slated for Summer 2012.

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***BEGIN TRANSMISSION***

This holo-memo has been delivered to your work station, Employee Resident #6850-D, because you are one of 38 Employee Residents whose living quarters have been re-appropriated by Core Control as an accelerant storage facility in preparation for the upcoming Federation of Alpha Centauri Satellites and Fusion Stations Explosion Appreciation Cycle. We apologize for the inconvenience and assure you that, with proper respiration assistance equipment and a reduced-price dose of sleep supplements, use of your living quarters for regular rest should not be an issue. Our records show that you have spent exactly 37.89% of your designated rest hours during the past Employee Resident monitored review period in the living quarters of Employee Resident #7157-J. Please note that if the recent re-appropriation of your quarters compels you to increase this percentage, you will be required to attain a partial cohabitation permit prior to achieving 45% co-sleep.

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Eamon Smith, CEO of the Smith and Bellar marketing agency, has taken an afternoon on the small dock behind his Hutchinson Island home to talk with us about his experience as a young man in the New American Republic during the Transition. One of the kitchen staff occasionally comes by to deliver or take away dishes and refresh our drinks.

 

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The stars don't need trained professionals to read them. Fate has been moving since before humans appeared in this world and it will work its wonders after we've gone. That's why we like to invite new people to our humble blog to read the weekly horoscopes from a fresh perspective.

There's really only one way to introduce today's guest. As the saying goes, everyone meets him eventually. Whether it's by the natural course of things, accident or intention, well... everyone's gotta go some time. When he walked into the Zen Ramblings Zodiac Squad office it was to claim the soul of our beloved pet parrot Reginald. He was dressed in a pair of khaki pants and a form-fitting, short sleeve t-shirt with a faded print of a surf shop in Pismo Beach. "Don't mind me," he said, "Just getting a little work done before lunch." Though saddened by the loss of Reginald, we implored our visitor to spend his lunch break giving us his take on the week's horoscopes. A surprisingly gracious fellow, Death obliged.

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thus spake Fred Nietzsche

"never do what you are told"

in so many words

great swathes of desert

sprouting oases of meat

and bad presidents

sword of nutrition

in a golden yellow sheath

sweet and inviting