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We are sorry to interrupt your designated inter-gender biological recreation session, Employee Residents #6850-D and #7157-J. You are both encouraged to turn your attention to this important message from Core Control and then return to your current activities with the aid of the complementary DNA retention barrier we have provided in Employee Resident #6850-D's solid mail basin. This is an official announcement concerning Zecron Sector Orbital Lab's participation in the Federation of Alpha Centauri Satellites and Fusion Stations upcoming Ethanol Endurance Test experiments.

After the discovery of ancient documents during the Earth Recovery Effort detailing a vital ritual among our ancestors, FACSFS officials have authorized a scientific examination of the effects of large amounts of the chemical hydroxyethane on human physiology and cognition. According to the ancient documents, there was once a ritual involving the consumption of naturally occurring ethanol in relation to a religious figure named Patrick. FACSFS scientists would like to test the hypothesis that this so-called spiritual experience was the result of hydroxyethane's ability to open human neural pathways leading to the trans-dimensional perception centers that our current generation of psychics have only been able to access after decades of meditation.

For maximum chemical accuracy, several different varieties of ethanol solution will be tested for their potentially disparate effects on human neuro-physiology. A simple distillate composed of 45% ethanol and 55% water will serve as a comparative baseline, though only a portion of all participants will be subject to this solution. Variations on this formula, including one that has been used as an inefficient wood solvent and one that has been derived from simple sweetener compounds, will be administered to a fraction of the total subject population.

Employee Resident #6850-D, as a Class Epsilon member of the FACSFS you qualify for a position as an official intoxicant receptacle for the purposes of the Ethanol Endurance Test. You and your fellow Epsilon Employee Residents across the Federation will be required to revel in the joys of your duties to the glory of the system by imbibing no less than twelve fluid ounces of ethanol-water solution of the course of a single cycle. During this period, you will be monitored for any increase in latent psychic ability.

Employee Resident #7157-J, you are a Class Gamma member of the Federation and so you do not meet the requirements for intoxicant receptacle status during the experiments. However, since you clearly have advanced knowledge of Employee Resident #6850-D's physiology, you have been assigned as his official observer. You will be required to remain completely intoxicant-free for the duration of the Ethanol Endurance Tests. Should he require any assistance consuming sustenance, shedding biological waste or performing other approved tasks while under the influence of hydroxyethane, it will be your task to provide guidance. In addition, as the bearer of Level 3 Machinery Certification, you will be required to operate the test facility's shuttle for transport between the facility and the residential halls of all intoxicant receptacle participants.

Core Control thanks you both for your attention during this important announcement. You may return to your previous recreational activities. Have a pleasant rest of the cycle.

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