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Pleasant salutations to you, Employee Resident #6850-D. On behalf of the Federation of Alpha Centauri Satellites and Fusion Stations, Zecron Sector Orbital Labs Core Control would like to express its sincere hope that you are enjoying your mandatory productivity cessation period in hour 15 of the traditional 47 hour cycle of all FACSFS facilities. Core Control will take this opportunity to inform you of any and all changes to station routines resulting from the upcoming Earth Simulacrum Winter Festival Celebrations.
1. Personnel from Labs 12-83 (excluding Lab 35) are strongly encouraged to attend the Earth Simulacrum Winter Festival Celebrations Social Gathering on Leisure Deck 7. The Gathering will take place during hours 25, 26 and 27 of Cycle 325. Nourishment including condensed vegetable paste cubes, caffeinated dark matter and strawberry cake vapor will be available. Core Control wishes to impress the utmost severity in its insistence that no Employee Resident attempts to alter any of the standard Festival nourishment with illicit intoxicants. It would be undesirable to repeat the disruptions that occurred during Earth Simulacrum Concept Celebrations: Independence Variety. Core Control is required to remind all Employee Residents that studies indicate the approved psychoactive compounds available on Pleasure Deck 2 are indeed satisfactory.
2. Core Control will initiate Earth Simulacrum Weather Protocol 18 during Cycle 325. This will include a universal temperature adjustment in all walkways, nature domes and Athletic Display Decks to exactly 253 degrees Kelvin, a lighting shift from White #16 to Gray #12, and the introduction of fine ice particles to the public ventilation system at 2-hour intervals. Core Control encourages all Employee Residents to dress accordingly.
3. Under FACSFS Regulatory Code XJ790, all halls are required to be adequately decked by hour 00:00 of Cycle 325. Any hall Core Control Security deems insufficiently decked may result in the arrest of all Employee Residents in the adjoined living quarters, after which an impartial FACSFS judge reticule will determine if Advanced Interrogation Techniques will be necessary to discover the cause of the unsatisfactory hall-decking.
4. All Employee Residents will receive a gift of fresh Personal Insulation Material: Foot Variety care of Zecron Sector Orbital Labs Director Cromelin. Director Cromelin will be visiting Zecron Sector Orbital Labs from hour 9 until hour 9.15 of Cycle 325. Any Employee Resident who comes into contact with Director Cromelin is instructed to inform him of the receipt of fresh Personal Insulation Material: Foot Variety and to express sincere gratitude for his generosity. Recent studies have indicated that Personal Insulation Material: Foot Variety is exactly what all Employee Residents of Zecron Sector Orbital Labs most desire.
Thank you for your undivided attention, Employee Resident #6850-D. Core Control hopes that your Earth Simulacrum Winter Festival Celebration is pleasant and we are currently enjoying the anticipation of joining you at the upcoming Social Gathering, provided you are not stationed at Lab 35. In such a case, Core Control Security personnel A. Roberts, T. Griffin, H. Beesley and J. Jamestone would like to assure you that you will be able to spend Cycle 325 secure in the knowledge that all exits from Lab 35 will be free of any unnecessary foot traffic that may distract you from your duties.
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