Annual Mating Cycle at Zecron Sector Orbital Labs

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Pleasant salutations to you, Employee Resident #6850-D. Core Control is happy to inform you that Work Cessation for Sustenance Injection 1 of 4 has been temporarily extended so that you may enjoy this announcement concerning the Annual Mating Cycle scheduled to take place between hours 0.00 and 23.99 in approximately 210 hours. Please relax and feel free to adjust your nutrient tube should you experience any discomfort while turning to attend to the announcement projection.

As has been the policy of all Federation of Alpha Centauri Satellites and Fusion Stations since the Third System War, all employee residents are expected to participate in the mandatory customs of social interaction in accordance with the recommendations of the FACSFS Medical Advisory Vice President.

You are receiving this message, Employee Resident #6850-D, because our records show that you began your contract with Zecron Sector Orbital Labs 200 cycles ago and have therefore never taken part in the Annual Mating Cycle. For the safety of yourself and your fellow Employee Residents, please make sure to follow the guidelines enumerated in this transmission. If you have any quandaries concerning these guidelines or any other aspect of the Annual Mating Cycle, we at Core Control would like to remind you that it has been illegal since Year 5 of this station's operational period to fail to utilize the Help Desk during periods of confusion.

1. Between hours 0.00 and 6.00, all Employee Residents must report to the appropriate quadrant medical facility for examination. Do not be alarmed. This procedure does not necessarily indicate that you or any other Employee Resident currently suffers from or is expected some time in the future to suffer from a physical deficiency. The Zecron Sector Orbital Labs medical staff has asked that all Employee Residents forgo Sustenance Injection 4 of 4 prior to the procedure.

2. In lieu of reporting to your assigned work stations, all Employee Residents will be directed to one of several temporary Hot Tub Nodes. Upon your arrival at your assigned Node, you will be required to don water-appropriate Personal Insulation Material and will be randomly distributed to a soaking station. All Employee Residents will then be serviced by an Intoxicant Administration Robot and injected with one of several psychoactive compounds.

3. Medical Advisory Vice President Coleman would like to preemptively congratulate all Zecron Sector Orbital Labs Employee Residents on the conception of an offspring. While Amendment #37 of the FACSFS charter bans any mandatory institutional DNA recombination among Employee Residents, any lifeform that may result from a pairing of two or more Employee Residents is officially considered a *Precious Miracle (adorable variety) and no Employee Resident will be punished for participation in the creation of an official Precious Miracle. For entirely unrelated reasons, 33% of all sleeping chambers have been deemed unfit for human dwelling and will be inaccessible as of hour 10.35 beginning in approximately 200 hours from now. All Employee Residents are encouraged to show solidarity with those who do not have access to their sleeping chambers.

Thank you for your attention, Employee Resident #6850-D.

*any lifeform deemed a Precious Miracle is considered property of The Federation of Alpha Centauri Satellites and Fusion Stations.

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