June 2010

white bell bottom pants

gold chains and disco dancing

the loud birth of punk

***BEGIN TRANSMISSION***

This holo-memo has been delivered to your work station, Employee Resident #6850-D, because you are one of 38 Employee Residents whose living quarters have been re-appropriated by Core Control as an accelerant storage facility in preparation for the upcoming Federation of Alpha Centauri Satellites and Fusion Stations Explosion Appreciation Cycle. We apologize for the inconvenience and assure you that, with proper respiration assistance equipment and a reduced-price dose of sleep supplements, use of your living quarters for regular rest should not be an issue. Our records show that you have spent exactly 37.89% of your designated rest hours during the past Employee Resident monitored review period in the living quarters of Employee Resident #7157-J. Please note that if the recent re-appropriation of your quarters compels you to increase this percentage, you will be required to attain a partial cohabitation permit prior to achieving 45% co-sleep.

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The stars don't need trained professionals to read them. Fate has been moving since before humans appeared in this world and it will work its wonders after we've gone. That's why we like to invite new people to our humble blog to read the weekly horoscopes from a fresh perspective.

There's really only one way to introduce today's guest. As the saying goes, everyone meets him eventually. Whether it's by the natural course of things, accident or intention, well... everyone's gotta go some time. When he walked into the Zen Ramblings Zodiac Squad office it was to claim the soul of our beloved pet parrot Reginald. He was dressed in a pair of khaki pants and a form-fitting, short sleeve t-shirt with a faded print of a surf shop in Pismo Beach. "Don't mind me," he said, "Just getting a little work done before lunch." Though saddened by the loss of Reginald, we implored our visitor to spend his lunch break giving us his take on the week's horoscopes. A surprisingly gracious fellow, Death obliged.

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great swathes of desert

sprouting oases of meat

and bad presidents

Chapters

1       2

3

Jeremy Holland is the personal assistant to Prime Minister Aaron Roth of the Republic of New England. He holds a Masters degree in political science from Columbia University and has been in PM Roth's employ since his campaign for the junior seat of the Civic Party eight years ago.

 

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portable nuisance

occasional convenience

the modern day leash

made smooth by a blade

in a morning ritual

same thing tomorrow

The stars don't need trained professionals to read them. Fate has been moving since before humans appeared in this world and it will work its wonders after we've gone. That's why we like to invite new people to our humble blog to read the weekly horoscopes from a fresh perspective.

Vladimir Davidovich is the first guest reader to contact us instead of the other way around. He did so through a complicated series of intermediaries, including a carrier pigeon, a masked associate carrying a microfiche and a coded message found on said microfiche. Apparently for the past twenty years Vladimir has been living in Brazil or possibly Thailand, so he was uncertain of whether or not it was safe for him to visit us at the Zen Ramblings office in America. After a fair amount of convincing, Mr. Davidovich decided to have a quick meeting under cover of darkness where he delivered his reading of the week's horoscopes along with a fairly powerful bottle of vodka.

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a Jim Henson maze

where David Bowie is king

why try to escape?

Chapters

1

Lt. Arthur Cole of the United Nations North American Operations Unit only agreed to converse with me if I didn't interrupt his work. A former officer of the US Army, Lt. Cole is now the chief archivist at the Embassy City Museum of United States History. As he speaks, he is busy placing various historical documents into sealed glass frames.

 

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