April 2010

  • Naked Stoic Lesbian Delivery Service: Chapter Seven

    By msarko on 4/30/10 4:19am
    Add Comment

    Chapters

    1       2

    3       4

    5       6

     

    original photo by Jean Jacques Andreoriginal photo by Jean Jacques AndreKids these days will never get to experience the mind-altering power of a jungle gym. There's something special about climbing up a dome of raw metal then slipping inside to watch a bunch of silhouettes against the sun crawling all around you. They've taken them all off the playgrounds now because too many kids got banged up on them. I'm not a parent so I probably don't understand, but the way I see it kids get banged up. It's just part of the territory. We all get two sets of teeth so we can screw up with the first one. What's it matter if a practice pearly gets knocked out? Anyway, it occurred to me as I woke up some hours or maybe days after the Fort Knox job that a kid who never played on a jungle gym wouldn't have anything to compare the feeling to, were he to wake up where and how I did.



    Read more >

  • France Haiku

    By msarko on 4/29/10 5:06am
    Add Comment

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    wine, cheese and good sex

    are better than bombs and guns

    vive la France, toujours

  • Elopement Haiku

    By msarko on 4/29/10 4:58am
    Add Comment

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    it's not about cake

    or free booze for your family

    tie the knot in peace

  • Politician Haiku

    By msarko on 4/28/10 4:59am
    Add Comment

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    smile for the cameras

    try to sound smart for the press

    don't sweat in public

  • Special Guest Horoscopes: Homeless Dave

    By msarko on 4/26/10 7:19pm
    2 Comments

    The stars don't need trained professionals to read them. Fate has been moving since before humans appeared in this world and it will work its wonders after we've gone. That's why we like to invite new people to our humble blog to read the weekly horoscopes from a fresh perspective. This week, we asked "Duffel Bag Dave", a citizen of the world but most recently of a bush not far from Safeco Field, to grant us his insight into what the paths of the zodiac have to offer this week.



    Read more >

  • Naked Stoic Lesbian Delivery Service: Chapter Six

    By msarko on 4/23/10 5:53am
    1 Comment

    Chapters

    1       2

    3       4

    5

     

    original photo by Derick Westoriginal photo by Derick WestSome things you grow up hearing about but you never really feel like they're real. The surface of another planet, the center of a volcano, the bottom of the ocean. Fort Knox. And just like the first guy who walks on Mars is gonna think to himself, "Just looks like Texas" I didn't think much of that government building in Kentucky when I saw it. Truth is, it looked more like the prison to me than anything. Link and I lay on our bellies behind this hill near the wall while his pet stoic climbed up to a ledge. It was around dusk. I had some of its hair in my teeth from when we shaved its head. Link didn't tell me why, just that it was important. Come nightfall, we'd be on our way in.



    Read more >

  • Spam Haiku

    By msarko on 4/22/10 5:56am
    3 Comments

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    inbox full of junk

    filter out of date again

    advertisements suck

  • Inverse Haiku

    By msarko on 4/22/10 5:52am
    Add Comment

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    five lines are never enough

    to tell my story

    so sometimes I use seven

  • Magnet Haiku

    By msarko on 4/21/10 5:03am
    Add Comment

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    please tell ICP

    magnets work because currents

    flow through hot metal

  • Naked Stoic Lesbian Delivery Service: Chapter Five

    By msarko on 4/16/10 2:53am
    Add Comment

    Chapters

    1       2

    3       4

     

    original photo by John Tisburyoriginal photo by John TisburyLink clutched his rifle like it was the only thing that put air in his lungs. Bits of plaster were crumbling off the wall with each cluster of buckshot that slammed into the other side. Old Man Gibson never killed a soul far as anyone knew, but damned if he didn't love to scare folks.

    "Sonny! I'm kicking the cannon your way! Get out from behind that safe and kill this sumnabitch like he was a daddy that smacked you!"

    The Glock slid next to me and the stoic as we took cover with the big-ass safe in the room. That should give you an idea of how scared I was. I had a choice between being out in the open or cuddling up next to a wild one and I chose the latter. I don't know if the blonde being Link's pet made it more or less of a threat. Anyway, it hadn't done anything to me yet, so I took my chances.



    Read more >

  • Hotel Haiku

    By msarko on 4/13/10 2:26am
    Add Comment

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    a bed beyond home

    the scent of chlorine abounds

    strangers in transit

  • Toothbrush Haiku

    By msarko on 4/13/10 2:20am
    Add Comment

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    such a simple tool

    yet so essential to life

    mundane and profound

  • Vodka Haiku

    By msarko on 4/13/10 2:15am
    Add Comment

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    a neutral party

    filtered to the nth degree

    plays well with others

  • Naked Stoic Lesbian Delivery Service: Chapter Four

    By msarko on 4/9/10 1:15am
    Add Comment

    Chapters

    1

    2

    3

     

    original photo by Richard Kadreyoriginal photo by Richard KadreyLink locked me in the bathroom for a few hours that night. A good thing, too, on account of the high likelihood I'd have pissed myself if he'd kept me in that room with the stoic doing whatever it was they were doing. I couldn't hear much of what was going on, just Link whispering something to the stoic he'd been messing with and every once in a while some crackle like some live wires were exposed. I guess it was about midnight when he let me out. There was just one of the three wild ones left in the room. Link had taken the two from the mission to storage and fed the one he'd been keeping some creme brulee from the restaurant down the street. It was curled up under the night stand with a bunch of weird doodads I'd never seen before.



    Read more >

  • Nihilism Haiku

    By msarko on 4/6/10 10:20pm
    Add Comment

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    this line means nothing

    this one means nothing as well

    and this one? nothing

  • Hospital Haiku

    By msarko on 4/6/10 10:09pm
    Add Comment

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    machines beep all day

    a place of hope and worry

    just somebody's job

  • British Haiku

    By msarko on 4/6/10 9:58pm
    Add Comment

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    vans are called lorries

    elevators are called lifts

    soccer is a sport

  • Naked Stoic Lesbian Delivery Service: Chapter Three

    By msarko on 4/2/10 1:30am
    Add Comment

    Chapter One

    Chapter Two

    original photo by Carrie Leighoriginal photo by Carrie Leigh"Oh shit oh shit oh shit". That's what really goes through your head when you've screwed the pooch proper. Nobody, and I mean nobody is so cool that they don't at least think in a string of swears when the bad stuff goes down. I don't care if you're some born bad sumnabitch with a nasty scar across your eye, you screw up something big and you're a panicky teenage girl on the inside. That's why I'm not ashamed to admit I had something of a minor tizzy when I dropped the November shipment down the cellar steps that one time. Sure, the way they landed was kinda sexy, but there was a mighty good chance at least one of them would walk funny ever after, if their necks didn't just snap on the way down. Stoics are intense creatures, but don't let that fool you into thinking they aren't fragile like you and me. They are. They're soft, sensitive. They have feelings, even if they keep them hid.



    Read more >