January 2010

  • State of the Union Haiku

    By msarko on 1/30/10 9:56pm
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    a pretty promise

    saying it won't make it true

    neither will Congress

  • Jack in the Box Haiku

    By msarko on 1/30/10 9:50pm
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    four pounds of fast food

    for just shy of a Lincoln

    can't be possible

  • Rocky Horror Haiku

    By msarko on 1/30/10 9:43pm
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    shouting at the screen

    and singing all the songs with

    a sweet transvestite

  • Little Rena and Fire Truck 38

    By msarko on 1/28/10 6:11pm
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    Were I to select from among Truck 38’s shortcomings to procure the most tragic among them, my discerning hand would likely select its sloth. Herr Johnson’s house, or what remains of it, is a paltry 2.7 kilometers from the municipal fire station. 5 minutes is hardly an acceptable response time. I chose this particular hour to test you, Truck 38, in order to take advantage of the brief congestion on our main thoroughfares created by the end of the traditional school day. Well, you failed, Truck 38. Perhaps you should have planned an alternate route to compensate for said traffic.



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  • L'il Philosophers: Friedrich Nietzsche, Age 7 1/2

    By msarko on 1/21/10 6:06pm
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    "Where has Coach Mueller gone?" Mark the team captain cried. Well, I shall tell you.  We have fired him, you and I. We have forced him to quit the kickball team. But how have we done this? How were we able to take dominion over the Rockin' Wildcats? With what great sword have we cleaved the referee's whistle from around his neck? By which cunning device have we taken what has always been and always shall be bought, earned by our efforts on the field of play? With Coach Mueller disappeared from our presence and the payroll of the Parent Teacher Association, is there even a Rockin' Wildcats any longer? Do we not still introduce the bouncy, red ball to the sides of our feet? Do we not still run from base to base, dodging tags and sliding into home? Coaches, too, abandon the game. Coaches cease to run the plays, arrange the kicking lineup, assign the field positions. Coach Mueller is terminated, remains terminated. And we fired him.



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  • Tax Haiku

    By msarko on 1/21/10 3:25pm
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    I never liked math

    now I hate it even more

    April is so cruel

  • Coffee Haiku

    By msarko on 1/21/10 3:13pm
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    French roasted jitters

    Colombian caffeine high

    how international

  • Refreshment Haiku

    By msarko on 1/21/10 2:42pm
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    handful of crackers

    and raw vegetable platter

    this is not dinner

  • Haiti Haiku

    By msarko on 1/15/10 4:37pm
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    donate money here

    seriously, contribute

    Haiti needs your aid

  • Late Night Talk Show Haiku

    By msarko on 1/15/10 4:32pm
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    Jay isn't funny

    Conan is hilarious

    NBC is wrong

  • Sick Haiku

    By msarko on 1/15/10 4:27pm
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    sore throat and headache

    the curse of winter weather

    chicken soup cures all

  • L'il Philosophers: Rene Descartes, Age 10

    By msarko on 1/14/10 6:10pm
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    Mr. Descartes,

    While we here at Indre-et-Loire Elementary pride ourselves in the dedication of our teaching and administrative faculty to excellence in education and do not feel that any of our students are incapable of achieving superior academic performance, we feel that some of young Rennie's classroom behavior and overall exam results have become cause for concern. We do not mean to sound alarming, as no doubt your son is a gifted young man with all the potential of his fellow students, though if such patterns are not addressed and corrected at an early age they may very well persist into adulthood when they would be less simple to dismiss. Please take the following evaluation not as a sentence of judgment against Rennie but as a clear, concise to-do list concerning his continued development as a student and a member of society as a whole.



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  • Comic Book Haiku

    By msarko on 1/7/10 11:42pm
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    gigantic muscles

    skin-tight spandex and weird masks

    bam! pow! boom! zott! boosh!

  • Baseball Haiku

    By msarko on 1/7/10 11:36pm
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    run round in circles

    chew large wads of tobacco

    and don't take steroids

  • Boredom Haiku

    By msarko on 1/7/10 11:25pm
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    staring at the walls

    hear the fluorescent lights buzz

    twiddling my thumbs

  • L'il Philosophers: Ayn Rand, Age 8

    By msarko on 1/4/10 8:44am
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    The conditions in the Little Birds Daycare Center weigh on the spirit of the individual like a great whetstone against which the weak and unambitious masters of the world at large sharpen the ever-duller knife of their slow tyranny. This is not to say that the water from the faucets does not run warm, for it does, and it is not to suggest that the snack time animal crackers are not as sweet as they could be. No, I do not suggest anything, reader. I make my stand in words, in thought and in glorious action against the emptiness and worthlessness of this foul institution with steady conviction and no apprehension.



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